Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
