dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
