My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
