Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
