I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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