Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I don't think brook has ever known best
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
