I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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