And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
