it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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