i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
