I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize