so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize