and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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