So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Just cropdusted the office
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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