super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
