Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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