That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
