I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
