Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
