I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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