I just pynch a tree in the face
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
time to smoke my breakfast
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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