Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize