bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize