Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
