Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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