I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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