Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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