Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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