so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
