we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Randomize