That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
