4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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