well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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