so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just had sex on a roof
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
