I should be sponsored by Trojan
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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