And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
MIDGETS
????
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
