So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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