P.S. I can't hear my feet
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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