be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
