My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
