Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Randomize
