I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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