went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
