Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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