I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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