last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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