My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
