so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Randomize
