found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize