Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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