i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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