I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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