Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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