That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
