Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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