do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
