This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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