I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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